


The Note(book)

by badboyblainers



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, M/M, No Dialogue, Post The Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-29
Updated: 2013-08-29
Packaged: 2017-12-24 23:28:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/945943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badboyblainers/pseuds/badboyblainers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post 4.04. Kurt leaves Blaine a note to find the morning after they break up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Note(book)

Blaine fled up the many flights of stairs that led to his bedroom, his heart pounding, ears throbbing, his chest heaving.

It was the day after he had flown out to New York, the day after he had sung Teenage Dream at Callbacks, the day after he had told Kurt everything.

He hadn't said bye to anyone; Finn had already left by the time he woke up, Rachel was still asleep, and Kurt... Kurt had left a note. Blaine had it memorized, and he ran through it in his head, yet again:

_'Blaine, I waited for you to get up, all night. But you didn't. In fact, you slept like a baby- does this even bother you? Because it seems like it really doesn't, considering you actually managed to sleep in, while I was awake, fretting and crying, not understanding how you could do this. _

_But now I'm getting angry. Something I thought about was how badly you reacted over Chandler, how it effected you, even though nothing physical ever happened between us, it was just flirty texts._

_Then I thought about how I still have his number buried away somewhere and I actually considered calling him to see if he'd be up for a one night stand, but I didn't. Because, no matter how angry, upset or betrayed I feel, I know I won't be able to trust anyone in that way- or in any way, for a long time, perhaps forever._

_Like I said, I have had so many temptations, but I resisted, not only because I knew what it would mean, but because I loved you, I thought you were the man I was going to marry, to move into an actual home with, perhaps even have children with, but cheating would change all that. Cheating has changed all that. _

_How am I supposed to trust a man who can't even stay faithful for three months? What if one of us had to go away for work? I'd be constantly worrying, I couldn't take the stress._

_And do you know what the worst part is? As much as I want to hate you for what you've done, I don't. I still love you, even if I can feel that love slowly slipping away._

_So, instead of staying to talk it over with you, I've gone out, because I really couldn't face you right now. Please, please, if you have any love left for me, don't wait around- just go._

_Kurt.'_

Blaine had read it and re-read it, hot tears splashing into his cheeks. His stomach twisted, his palms cold and clammy. He had actually thrown up once, Kurt's words hurting a little more each time.

He flung himself on his bed, heavy sobs shaking his entire body. He silently thanked god that his parents weren't home, he couldn't deal with talking to anyone right now.

Blaine went over Kurt's note again, specifically, 'I loved you.' Nothing Kurt had ever said hurt more than that.

He thought about the future Kurt had written about, the future they had talked about many times together.

Blaine wanted nothing more than to wake up every morning to see Kurt's beautiful face, his stunning blue eyes, accompanied by his hair sticking up adorably in various places because of the way he'd slept.

He wanted to watch as Kurt got stressed over work or kids, so he could be there to calm him down with a relaxing back rub, leaving feather light kisses on his shoulder as they spent the evening watching trashy reality shows.

He also really wanted to nestle down to sleep every night, his back pressed against Kurt's chest, his arm resting on top of the other mans, which would be draped over his side, holding him tightly, their fingers laced together. And Kurt would press a gentle kiss to the back of his head and murmur a quiet 'I love you,' to which Blaine would either hum in agreement, or turn over, deciding he wasn't tired any more, leading to a very fun night.

But that wasn't going to happen- Kurt had made that very clear. Blaine had never hated anyone more than he hated himself. He had ruined the way Kurt trusted so easily, one of the many things Blaine loved about him, and he would never forgive himself.

Kurt thought Blaine wasn't bothered by what he'd done- it was practically all he thought about, when he was sat at the back of the choir room, not listening to whatever 70's band they were supposed to be covering this week, only stopping his thought train when Mr. Schuester smiled creepily at him.

He thought about it when he was eating another bland meal his mother had cooked, to follow whichever diet he was supposedly on now, (appearance is everything, Blaine).

And he thought about it whilst he lay awake every night, trying to get to sleep, his guilty conscience not allowing him to slip away from his memory for one second.

Kurt had considered hooking up with Chandler, a mental image that made Blaine want to throw up again. However, Kurt was worse off, knowing that Blaine had actually slept with another guy; he didn't know how Kurt was going to manage.

Blaine hadn't actually followed Kurt's instructions and had waited in the apartment for three hours for him to return. It had become pretty obvious Kurt was going to be gone for the day, wherever 'gone' was.

Blaine knew Kurt purposely hadn't told him of his whereabouts so he couldn't go looking for him, but just because it was Kurt's wish to be left alone, it didn't mean it didn't hurt.

Blaine had debated searching for him, but New York was a big city and he'd only been there once when his father had business there.

Instead, he'd trudged to the airport, unwillingly dragged himself onto the first plane back to Lima, spent most of the flight crying in the locked bathroom, ignoring the angry voices and fists on the door of other passengers, and had then stormed home, his eyes filling to the brim as he pulled the crumpled up note out of his jean pocket, tears streaming down his face as he read the words that stabbed like a knife.

However, after everything Kurt had said in the note, no matter how little trust he had left for Blaine, no matter how much they were both hurting, Blaine still clutched to a tiny glimmer of hope.

Kurt still hadn't said goodbye.


End file.
